Choose from one of six intoxicating and intoxicated character classes, including:

	The Seal Clubber Seal Clubbers hail from the frigid Northlands, because one character class always hails from the frigid Northlands. They rely on their Muscle to survive.
	Turtle Tamer The Turtle Tamer's mystical connection with her terrapin brethren imbues her with great power. She excels at moving very slowly and winning footraces with smug satisfaction. Her Muscle is the key to her success, and to his long lifespan.
	Pastamancer With his mastery of the arcane secrets of Noodlecraft, the Pastamancer is a force to be reckoned with. He relies on his Mysticality to get ahead in the world.
	Sauceror Long engaged in an uneasy truce with the Pastamancers, the guild of Saucerors protects the secrets of the Ancient Brotherhood of Gravymakers. Their Mysticality is their most important attribute.
	Disco Bandit The Disco Bandit boogies to and fro, hither and yon. Whence comes she? No man knows. Whither strikes she next? All men live in fear of her and her Moxie.
	The Accordion Thief The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the ladies."

Places to go, People to see

The Kingdom is broad and deep. Visit such picturesque zones as:

The Kingdom contains hundreds of terrifying monsters. Among them are:

	Lecherous Liches		Disgusting Nacho Golems
	Cunning Knob Goblin Accountants		Dangerous Breakdancers