| As the Crimbo season approached again, Don Crimbo summoned adventurers to Uncle P's Antiques and offered them a business proposal: adventurers would recruit hobos to raise meat for Don Crimbo's Crimbo enterprise, and in return, Don Crimbo wouldn't kill the adventurer's entire family. Adventurers gamely tried to maximize the amount of meat the hobos collected, relying on the infuriatingly cryptic and/or deceitful advice of Loathing's first, and thankfully last, newspaper, The Loathing Herald-Times-Tribune-Messenger. Thankfully, after a few weeks the Don declared the operation a success, and opened up Crimbo Town once more. As it turned out, the Don was having just as bad a time running Crimbo as Uncle Crimbo had: the elves were unhappy with their new master, and with Crimbo as a for-profit business. To save Crimbo, adventurers joined the Don in beating the stuffing out of a bunch of monkey wrenchin', bolt-cuttin', propaganda-spewing elves. The adventurers cut a merry, bloody swath through the elves until encountering the source of the revolution: Edwing Abbidriel, troublemaker. Upon defeating Abbidriel, though, adventurers learned the horrible truth that Don Crimbo wasn't planning on bringing delight to all the good boys and girls after all. In retrospect, they probably should have seen that coming. It turned out that the Don had the Crimbomination chained in the basement of his Crimbo compound, and was planning on using it and Crimbo magic to rob every single adventurer in the Kingdom in one night. All the adventurers then stopped beating up elves and started beating up penguins, instead. They're kind of a fickle bunch that way. Anyway, the adventurers finally got to Don Crimbo and got the crap beaten out of them, but in defeat managed to convince the Don that Crimbo wasn't a profitable business venture. As it turns out, the Crimbo magic makes sure that the ruler of Crimbo never profits by it. The Don gave up the Crimbo hat, and adventurers placed it upon the Crimbomination's head, after reversing the Don's influence by -- well, by reading poetry while holding a weird anti-brainwashing thingy. Whatever. Anyway, so the Crimbomination took up the mantle of ruler of Crimbo, and vanished, leaving nothing behind but a misfit present for each adventurer and a significant loose plot thread.
Part I : The Story Thus Far
Part II : The Elfretariat
Part III : The Halloween Incident
Part IV : Crimboween
Part V : Where in Time is Uncle Crimbo?
Part VI : Once You Go Blackstory, You Never Go Backstory
Part VII : A Polyhedral Harbinger
Part VIII : Rise of the Crimborg
Part VIIII : A Black and White Crimbo
Part X : One More Indecent Accident
Part XI : Of CRIMBCO and Hobos
Part XII : I Want Candy
Part XIII : Dreaming of a KAWAIIII Crimbo
Part XIV : Cyborg Bears? Sure Why Not
Part XV : Factory Complexities
Part XVI : A Tale of Two Things That Happened documentation home |